Becoming: The Deeper Work of Coaching
Becoming: The Deeper Work of Coaching
After thousands of hours coaching leaders, founders, creatives and change-makers, here’s what I’ve learned:
Coaching isn’t about giving you answers. It’s about creating space for you to work out the answers.
A space to pause and think more clearly.
To feel what’s really going on – and say whats going on not just what you think is expected of you to say.
To surface the stories you’ve outgrown but still carry. To share the stories you wish to play out and the chapters you need to go through to reach your happy ending.
A good coach doesn’t hand you a map.
A good coach doesn’t hand you a map. They help you plot a route on paper and in your mind.
They hold up a mirror; helping you notice the gap between what you say matters – and what your actions are reinforcing. They listen for the beliefs running beneath the surface:
“I can’t let anyone down.”
“If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
“If I don’t have the answer, I’m failing.”
“Am I really good enough to convince this board?”.
A great doesn’t just help you decide; they help you to commit. And the don’t just stop at decisions; they help you speak with the beliefs that are limiting you in the first place?
The truth is; coaching great coaching is about helping you remember who you are – and lead from there.
I’ve sat with CEO’s, Founder’s and ‘Head’s of’
I’ve sat with CEO’s who had all the right answers but couldn’t feel the joy anymore.
Walked alongside founders who have built something powerful – but no longer felt powerful in it.
Listened to heads of sustainability who had lost faith that change was even possible.
Helped teams collaborate in a space of openness and collective commitment to the ceiling and one another; from a starting point of contempt.
Each one thought they were coming for strategy – but left with self alignment and not a business strategy - but a leadership strategy.
Clarity. Conviction. Crusade.
Coaching is not…
Coaching is not a space to perform in; it’s a space to work out your performance strategy.
Leaving pretence at the door; it’s a place where ambition, doubt, values and truth can sit side by side.
And a place, in which something shifts. You and your focus.
No longer just on what you do – but in how you do it.
Not longer just in what others see – but in how seen you feel. And what that means you’ll do about it.
Coaching is not just about becoming a leader.
It’s about being a leader.
Becoming someone who can trust their own voice…
Brené Brown said that "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. To lead with integrity, you have to know yourself — your vulnerabilities, your strengths, your values."
The coaching space is about becoming someone who can trust their own voice.
It’s a space which enables braver choices through letting go of what no longer fits. So that you can grow into something truer. It’s about feeling and being free.
Because when the internal voices quiet… coalesce… align – you don’t just perform better. You become who you’re truly capable of being.
And who you are truly capable of becoming will always be more than enough to achieve what you want to achieve; as long as you find the support and collaboration you need along the way.
Reflections from thousands of hours…
Thousands of hours of coaching with leaders and teams across multiple sectors, show me that when you’ve got people depending on you. Decisions piling up. And a quiet question rising underneath it all. A thinking space, provided by a skilled coach who has experienced the peaks and troughs of leadership and life, and what it takes to perform and empower performance; makes a difference that ripples for the rest of a career and the career of this whose life that grows on beyond you.
Are you….
Are you:
High-functioning – but not necessarily fulfilled.
Moving fast – but not always clear if it’s in the right direction.
Capable - but not being listened to.
Successful - but missing out on promotion.
That’s where coaching can help. Not by adding more noise – but by offering the kind of quiet that gets things moving again.
Being coached is an act of leadership
Being coached is an act of leadership; it takes courage to seek growth.
To look in the mirror, and to choose the path of continual becoming is bravery itself.
You don’t need fixing. No one does; but the space to connect, with the right kind of challenge and support is a place from which you can rise.
And helping good people rise, and lead great things, through coaching - is my calling and THE coach to good people leading great things is whom I’m becoming.
A question for you.
Who are you becoming and what would help you become the best version of you too?
Stefan
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here