Coaching: My What and My Why?
Coaching: My What and My Why?
Every so often, I revisit my own practice.
Not just to check the tools or the rhythm - but to realign with the why underneath it all.
To remind myself (and maybe you) that coaching isn’t just something I do.
It’s a way of seeing, a way of holding people, and a way of helping good things grow.
So here it is:
A return to the roots - of what coaching is, why I coach, and what I’ve seen it unlock.
Coaching is where I see people come alive.
It’s not just about performance, problem-solving or ticking boxes.
It’s about watching someone shift - from stuck to clear, from overloaded to grounded, from second-guessing to showing up as who they really are.
And that’s addictive. In the best possible way.
So what is coaching — really?
Let’s start with what it’s not.
It’s not training.
It’s not mentoring.
It’s not therapy.
And it’s definitely not giving advice.
Coaching is a mindset. A practice. A partnership rooted in belief.
At its heart, coaching is about this:
Helping someone think better — not telling them what to think.
It’s about creating a space where someone can hear themselves clearly enough to choose powerfully.
A space of pause. Of reflection. Of clarity.
That space is typically non-directive - grounded in questions, listening, and trust.
But in my work especially in stewardship, leadership, systems, and change - I move fluidly across a spectrum:
Sometimes I hold silence so someone can hear what’s under the noise.
Sometimes I challenge.
Sometimes I offer a model or mirror a pattern I see.
Sometimes I bring direct guidance — especially when there’s a gap in knowledge, experience, or clarity.
I draw on a range of approaches - from Solution-Focused Coaching, Positive Psychology, Gestalt, and NLP, to my own lived frameworks of leadership, systems and change.
But wherever we go, I always return to the same ground:
What do you think?
What do you want to do?
And how will you make that choice yours?
Because real coaching isn’t about compliance.
It’s about agency.
Not dependency, but ownership.
Not copying someone else’s model, but building your own.
I coach because I believe people know more than they think they do.
And when they don’t, they can learn.
Not just information - but wisdom. Self-understanding. Courage.
My job isn’t to tell people what to do.
It’s to create the conditions where they can surface what matters, decide what’s next, and grow the confidence to stand behind it.
Sometimes that’s subtle work. Sometimes it’s deep.
Sometimes it’s operational. Sometimes it’s systemic.
But the purpose is always the same:
To enable powerful, values-rooted choice.
I coach because the world needs better leaders and braver humans; stewards
Not louder voices.
Not tighter control.
Not a new layer of perfectionism.
We need leaders who can hold contradiction.
Who can lead with humility and courage.
Who can centre fairness, stretch vision, and care deeply.
We need stewards, not just strategists.
That kind of leadership doesn’t start in a strategy deck.
It starts in a room - or a teams call - with someone asking the right question and staying quiet long enough to let the answer rise.
That’s the space I hold.
And having seen the liberation that coaching brings - to those who thought they couldn’t and now believe they can, and to those who never thought change was possible and yet found a way — I became hooked on the joy of witnessing people step into their freedom: to be more, do more, steward more, and free others too.
That’s why I coach.
But I don’t coach everyone.
Because coaching with me isn’t about quick fixes or surface performance. It’s for those willing to steward - not just lead.
Who I Coach
The people I work with operate at many levels, but they all carry weight:
C-suite leaders navigating visibility, impact, and legacy
Department heads and directors balancing teams, stakeholders, and systems
Founders and entrepreneurs building movements or businesses with values at the core
System shapers and policy influencers working across sector boundaries without burning out
Leaders at a crossroads, asking: “How do I make the difference I want to make… without losing who I am?”
What unites them isn’t hierarchy.
It’s hunger.
And a kind of deep integrity that refuses to give up on what’s possible - even when it’s hard.
They’re not looking for someone to hand them answers.
They’re looking for a space to think, to be challenged, and to grow.
They want transformation that lasts - leadership that aligns.
Who I Don’t Coach
Not everyone is ready for that kind of work.
Not everyone wants stewardship over status.
I don’t work with people chasing control, perfection, or a polished image at all costs.
I don’t work with those who see responsibility as power rather than care.
I work with stewards.
Not perfect people.
Not saints.
But those who are willing to hold responsibility as care, to lead with clarity, curiosity, and courage - even when it’s hard.
Because stewardship isn’t easy.
But it’s necessary.
And it’s powerful.
And for those trying to lead this way - I’m here.
What unites them isn’t hierarchy.
It’s hunger.
And a kind of deep integrity that refuses to give up on what’s possible - even when it’s hard.
They’re not looking for someone to give them answers.
They want a space to think, to challenge, to grow.
They want transformation that lasts - and leadership that aligns.
What Coaching With Me Delivers
Not always a perfect plan.
But always a clearer path.
Here’s what we work towards:
Strategic clarity - a vision, a roadmap, and a rhythm to execute with purpose
Operational focus - cutting through overwhelm and aligning what matters most
Personal congruence - the ability to lead in a way that matches your values
Increased visibility - showing up more confidently with senior teams, boards, and peers
Resilience and calm - nervous system regulation, work-life rhythm, and better decision-making
Team or system impact - where leading yourself well enables you to lead others better
And underneath it all:
A renewed sense of who you are, what you stand for, and what’s worth building.
That’s what coaching creates.
Coaching isn’t about filling buckets , it’s about lighting sparks and keeping them lit.
And it’s why I choose it - again and again.
What do people say?
“He somehow knows exactly when to stop and when to push you a bit further, and has an incredible knack of asking simple but really insightful questions - some of them stuck with me for months and completely changed the way I was thinking about the challenges I was working through. All in all, he was brilliant and I'd recommend him to anyone without hesitation”. Janet Hughes - Director General of Civil Service Reform and Efficiency in the Cabinet Office.
And a gentle note…
And a gentle note to finish…
Coaching with me isn’t for everyone.
It’s for stewards - people who choose responsibility as care, not control.
People who want to lead with clarity, curiosity, and courage, even when it’s hard.
If that’s you, let’s talk.
Next up: How I Coach
In the next The Coaching Journal, I’ll take you through a deep dive into the 10-session arc that supports this work - and why its structure, rhythm, and cadence help transformation stick.
For now, thank you for reading and remember - stewardship is greater than leadership.
Executive Coach | CEO, Be the Waves | Father & Citizen
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Stewards who care about others, our planet and beauty; The Great Things. For the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it. It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here