Joy - Stefan’s Week-notes 28/09/2025
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Weeknotes — Joy in the Flow
This week was fabulous in many ways. The word that kept surfacing was joy - not a glossy, surface joy, but the kind that sneaks up on you, catches you by surprise, and reminds you why you keep showing up. It was there in work, in friendship, in art, and on the bike.
As always; a week framed in questions - useful to me - I hope they bring something to you.
What’s the central theme or thread that tied your week together?
Joy. Not the abstract kind, but moments that caught me by surprise, brought a tear, and reminded me why I do what I do.
What moments lit you up this week?
Seeing one of my clients marry the love of his life. We’d only ever worked together online - this was the first time we’d met in person. As he introduced me to some of his guests, he shared that he “wouldn’t be where he is if it wasn’t for Stefan,” and spoke about how much I’d helped him and his wife.
I’d supported him to lead his team more boldly, and that led to a promotion.
Standing there, hearing those words in that setting, was something else entirely.
Coaching is usually quiet, behind the scenes. That moment brought it into the open. It lit me up.
What did you wrestle with this week?
Facilitating a strategy day for a not-for-profit in London. There were big challenges in the room, and I had to decide whether to step in hard or hold back. I chose to hold back - and the CEO stepped in, just as I’d hoped.
Later, after we debriefed, she sent me this message:
“I was reflecting on our conversation over a sandwich and I thought: you’ve made me into a CEO. Or perhaps: you’ve unearthed the CEO in me. Thank you.”
That hit me.
Years ago, when I was 25, I told my then boss, Ian, that I wanted to be a CEO of a big corporate. He was the one who taught me to coach, and he’d asked me to share my ambition. When I told him, he said simply: “I believe in you.”
I didn’t end up on that track. I didn’t play the politics quite as well as I help those I coach to do so; today.
But hearing a CEO say those words back to me this week felt like something closing full circle. With a lump in my throat, I called a friend - not because I haven’t coached CEOs before, I’ve done it many times - but because this time it really hit me in the heart - because they had the grace to share what it meant.
What personal moments felt significant this week?
Bikepacking. Riding out with friends - Jason, who I’ve shared many trips with before, and Darren, for whom this was his first campout on the mainland. Our first one together too. There were laughs, smiles, a couple of mechanicals, and the simple joy of sleeping out under the stars. Yes - it’s time for more.
It took me back to why I started riding again in the first place. Back to childhood trips to the Bryntisillio outdoor education centre, paid for by the local authority, that gave me a love of the outdoors and adventure. And back to the mentors and group leaders who treated us all as equals. That early experience shaped me more than I realised at the time. This week, it felt like I was tapping into that same current again.
Where did you see stewardship in practice this week?
With a senior civil service leader I’ve just started coaching. Looking at the next phase of the transformation they’re leading, we explored the “big things” that need to be achieved between now and the end of the year, with January as a reset point.
We created a bespoke way of categorising the work. The realisation, simple but hard-won, was this: they need to step back so others can step in. Not just for their own sake, or the team’s, though both matter. But for the long-term stability of the transformation itself.
That’s stewardship. Knowing when to lead from the front, and when to create the space for others.
What metaphor or image captures the feeling of this week?
A river always runs through it.
Coaching moments flowing. Be the Waves taking shape. Bikepacking returning to my rhythm. It all felt fresh, alive, and moving me forward.
What did you notice beneath the surface this week?
Appreciation for what I bring. And I feel vulnerable even writing that, but it’s true. Mentees, coachees, even the coaches I’ve been recruiting have been effusive about my work.
I think it’s twofold. I’ve been speaking more boldly again, having sat behind the questions for a while. And my boldness is returning as I’ve given myself and other stewards a voice through Be the Waves.
It’s not lost on me that the two are connected. Perhaps being CEO of Be the Waves is the real beginning of closing the circle I spoke of earlier, with Ian.
What are you carrying forward into next week?
Teamship - I’ve been interviewing coaches and found some fabulous people. The next step is for them to coach me - part of the due diligence I want in place. It’s the only way to really know how they work before I place them into a client system. That feels both practical and right.
And I can’t help but feel excited. I wasn’t designed to walk this life alone, and this feels like the start of something special.
What else stayed with you this week?
A visit to Tate Modern. One piece in particular struck me: Do Ho Suh’s Public Figures (1998–99).
From afar, it looks like a single, solid column. But closer in, you see it is held up by many small human figures, each straining together under the weight.
Do Ho Suh speaks of collectivity and the burden of systems describing the piece as representing "the multiple, the diverse, the anonymous mass... supporting and resisting the stone". An "anti-individualist ode" to collective resilience and renewal, challenging the concept of individual heroic figures by having small, massed figures hold up an otherwise empty plinth.
For me, that translates into stewardship - the choice to lift alongside, not apart. To use our skills, belief, capacity, or position (found or given) to make sure the weight doesn’t crush, but serves.
I stand alongside leaders who choose to carry differently. And Be the Waves is about increasing the number who do that too.
I was pleased also, to see the female characters in the composition; equal to men. if only we’d treated them so for the past 200 years - the world might be a very different place.
How do I want to sign off this week?
With something that rang true for me. I first saw it about words, but it works even more powerfully for questions — which in my life have often been sharper than speaking truth to power.
"Questions.
So powerful.
They can crush a heart, or heal it.
They can shame a soul, or liberate it.
They can shatter dreams, or energise them.
They can obstruct connection, or invite it.
They can create defences, or melt them”.
As a coach, this really resonates. Every session reminds me that the questions we ask matter just as much as the answers we find.
We have to use questions wisely - but more than that, we have to use them boldly. Because right now, we have world leaders who are refusing to answer them.
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach and the CEO of Be The Waves, growing stewardship for a thriving planet.
I helping good people lead great things; in other words - I empower Stewardship
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it. It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here