Meaning - Stefan’s Week-notes 21/06/25
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Week of 14–21 June 2025
“Who do you want to be?”
That’s this week’s question. And I’ve realised that answer changes - grows - each year. As it should.
Like many, this week was filled with deep coaching, wild contradictions, beautiful friends, small wins, and moments of stillness and shift. Here’s what stood out:
1. What Went Well?A Catch-Up and a Catalyst
A fabulous catch-up with fellow coaches Victoria Wilken and Johnny Craike.
We explored many dimensions of change: from cognitive frames to transactional dynamics, from developmental coaching to adaptive leadership. It’s always a joy to connect with them. In many ways, it feels like a mini conscience, a challenge session, and an opportunity to voice those thoughts that often lie beneath the questions we ask as coaches.
That reflection led to a quiet, 40-minute mapping session - laying out the hidden frameworks beneath my practice: Readiness. Systems. Growth. The real conditions for meaningful, lasting change.
And that has already blossomed into a series of blogs.
Sometimes, a single conversation becomes a whole thread - just like coaching.
2. What Lit Me Up? Holding Up the Mirror
I had the privilege of working with a brilliant female leader this week – someone with real depth, drive and vision.
We had two powerful sessions focused on the questions: Who am I? What do I bring? How do I articulate that with confidence and clarity?
Her ‘why’, her ‘how’, and the results she delivers are genuinely impressive – but like so many high-performing, values-led leaders, she rarely stops to recognise that in herself.
Sometimes, that’s all it takes: a structured pause, the right questions, and someone to hold up the mirror. To help you seewhat others already see. And once you do, it changes everything – posture, purpose, presence.
I’ve been lucky to receive that gift from a few key people in my own journey. Being able to pay it forward like this is one of the most rewarding parts of my work.
3. The Chat I Can’t Stop Thinking About - Disaster Management
I had a conversation this week with a dear friend going through real turmoil – part coach, part friend, part counsel. It was good to know I could bring some calm into the chaos.
I’ve often been called in – or stepped forward – in moments I think of as ‘disaster management’. This time, it involved supporting someone dealing with a bully.
Sadly, it’s a skill I’ve developed through experience – both from being on the receiving end, and from helping others navigate bullying in the corporate world.
In my experience, the insecurity of the bully is always central. And that insecurity can either be held with empathy or simply let go of – depending on how far things have gone.
It’s not about harming them.
It’s about removing harm from you.
4. What Shifted? My Legs on the Bike
Over the past few months, I’ve stepped back from pushing hard on the bike. Partly due to injury, partly as an act of mental self-preservation. I started riding purely for the joy of it.
That pause has done its work. The desire to push is returning.
Life is full right now – work, the kids, the day-to-day demands – and I’m at peace with that. But lately, the rides I want to do are gently pulling me back towards performance. The need for speed is surfacing again – this time, with healthier boundaries.
As Greg LeMond once said:
“It never gets easier, you just go faster.”
I’m beginning to feel ready for that again – on my own terms.
5. What Am I Wrestling With? - Which Path Next?
Should I pursue a sports psychology qualification, or dive into something full-on in climate science?
I loved PE - I studied it at GCSE and A-Level - but I let it go to do a law degree.
Usually, I say: Do what excites you, and the rest will follow. So, what’s stopping me?
Part of my bucket list is to coach a Tour-level rider. I’ve already coached a multiple endurance world record holder. This week, I worked with a GB-level triathlete to manage their mindset in the final weeks before a big competition. Next week, we have a session planned focusing on mindset across bike, road and water.
It’s a privilege. And a thrill.
Perhaps it looks like a detour from ‘the plan’, but really it’s just another tool in my Batman utility belt. I think that’s my answer. Next year?
And the connection between the bike and the planet can’t be overlooked.
6. What Do I See at the Edges?
A fear to really drive change. To put a stake in the ground and lead.
Leadership has many styles - and doesn’t need a title. But we look at activists as those who chain themselves to railings. When really, activists are people who act for a cause and name it.
We need more of that. Because the temperature is rising and the seas are rising.
So many people are already facing climate crisis on top of poverty, lack of inclusion, and war. Václav Havel the last president of Czechoslovakia and the first of the Czech Republic said “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something is worth doing, no matter how it turns out.” and I see an opportunity for those in a position of influence and resource to do more.
perhaps its about being more ‘blatant’ about what can be done individually, collectively, organisational and politically to do that.
Each action for good, is a ripple in the bond and the catalyst for change in those around us; it says ‘we should and we will’.
7. Look at This
Ink and Elements
A tattoo by Yuki Zerkjad.
Chinese brush painting style. Abstract. Watercolour. London-based.
It evokes water for me – but not water alone. There’s also fire, fauna, charred earth, ash. The elements of life, death and renewal. Movement and stillness. Growth and grit.
I’ve dreamt of three-quarter sleeves for years. And maybe next year will be the one where I finally bite the bullet – not take the train (though that would be cool too).
What do you think?
Perhaps it’s time I booked in with Yuki.
8. The Word I’m Carrying
What is the meaning of life? I’ve often said: simply, to live. I still believe that. To be present, to experience, to grow. But that answer feels incomplete without considering where and how we’re living – and what we’re leaving behind.
Without a liveable, safe planet, what does any of it mean? Nietzsche wrote: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” And I find myself thinking more and more about what that why is – not just for me, but beyond me.
If life is to be meaningful, surely it must also be of service. Not just in the intimate, human-to-human ways I’ve always valued, but also in the systemic, planetary ways that sustain all of us. That thought can feel heavy. But perhaps it’s not weight, but responsibility. Perhaps, it’s duty. And maybe there’s a way to carry it that’s lighter – with joy, creativity and collective will.
For me, that means actions like riding my bike – for my health, and the planet’s. Eating a diet that’s 99% plant-based. Choosing political leaders and policies that reflect long-term thinking, and being willing to speak about that without preaching. These are small acts, but not insignificant ones.
And more: I’m thinking about how my work as a coach can help others align personal success with planetary thriving. What if we asked, “How will your goal help not just you, but the world around you thrive?” What if I only chose to work with clients who are willing to ask that, too?
I’m exploring offsetting my impact. Becoming a B Corp. Building more than a practice – building a platform that delivers more than insight: impact.
I believe I’ve lived with meaning. But now, I want to mean more. For the work I do to stretch beyond my own lifetime. To contribute to something bigger.
Not to carry the world – but to take responsibility for my part in it.
9. This Week’s Question - Who are you – and who do you want to be?
Not your role. Not your job title. You.
Because that evolves – and rightly so. Year by year, season by season. The best leaders I work with allow themselves to grow into new versions of themselves, rather than clinging to outdated definitions. The strongest athletes I coach don’t try to outrun their former selves – they build from where they already are. That difference – a solid platform rather than a panicked leap – changes everything.
So, who are you now? And of that, what deserves celebrating – not because it’s perfect, but because it’s true?
And who do you want to become? What remains the same? What needs to shift?
When people are honest in answering those questions, the change is rarely about becoming someone different. More often, it’s about scale, reach, influence, visibility. Recognition not in place of authenticity, but as an extension of it.
If you’re exploring that shift – from now to next – I’d love to explore it with you.
10. What I’m Grateful For
Alongside my beautiful children, this week I’m especially grateful for my friends Jason and Darren.
Our latest brew-up was brilliant. No agenda – as usual – just an easy, free-flowing chat about bike adventures.
No talk of work. No deep dives into relationships.
And it didn’t feel like anything was missing – which tells me that things are in a good place. Sure, we could have said that out loud, but the smiles and the banter said it all.
Presence was everything. The freedom to talk about bikes, trips, and goals – freedom off the bike as well as on it. For me, that’s what life’s about.
11. Where I’m Rooted
Roots
Working class. From the Midlands.
This came up during a coaching conversation with the GM of a high-tech, sports-focused manufacturer. We were exploring what they want to be known for - and who they want to serve.
We connected over similar beginnings. That felt real - grounded, important.
They thanked me for the pause, the challenge, the prompt to go deeper.
As Sir Jack Hayward once wrote in the Wolves museum's visitors book:
“Glad to have helped.”
We’re talking again soon
12. What I’m Reading
The script of Good Will Hunting has always stayed with me.
I see myself in both characters – Matt Damon’s and Robin Williams’. It’s a reflection of who I’ve grown from, and who I’ve grown into. And, perhaps most importantly, what I’ve allowed myself to accept along the way.
Two lines stand out:
“How do you like them apples?”
And: “It’s not your fault.”
One speaks to the fighter I was – and still am. The other, to the carer and the coach I’ve become.
It’s that combination – edge and empathy – that allows me to bring real ‘punch’ to the good people I coach. Those who are already leading or want to lead with purpose. Because, let’s face it – leading change in a world still heavily tilted towards short-term capitalism takes courage. And deliberate action.
Closing Thought - Who We Want to Be
The question of who we want to be isn’t fixed. It evolves. It deepens. It matures with each passing year.
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is not to leap blindly from the platform of the past, but to step confidently from what we already carry, choosing deliberately what to take forward.
What are you carrying? What should you continue to hold onto and what might you let go of?
See you next week. Remember: a thriving planet is worth it, and we all need you.
Stefan
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here