Underneath - Stefan’s Week-notes 17/05/2025
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Week-notes | Wanted, Not Just Needed - Theme: Boldness
This week, the word that keeps circling back is boldness—not loud or aggressive, but clear, grounded, and true.
Boldness in grief.
Boldness in standing up for what matters.
Boldness in choosing the direct path—even when it’s uphill.
Here’s what I noticed, carried, and am still letting settle:
1. What Went Well
Rich, purposeful coaching conversations:
Dates agreed for a new team coaching programme
A new arc with an eco-minded FD
A young leader stepping into their edge
And this:
“I got more out of 1hr 17 with you than I did in a week’s leadership and change management course.”
That landed.
2. What Lit You Up
Two sparks:
A conversation about running three sector-focused sessions on the big issues facing organisations—and how their sector could lead, not just respond
A bikepacking trip planned as the crow flies—no shortcuts, just over, around, or through whatever shows up
Direct. Honest. In motion.
And that felt good.
3. A Conversation I Can’t Stop Thinking About
A coachee didn’t talk about status or progression.
They talked about becoming a better leader—so they could influence their sector on climate.
It wasn’t a performance. It was personal.
And it reminded me: when leadership is about something beyond the self, it resonates longer.
That stayed with me.
4. Something That Shifted
A potential client told me they’d never worked with an exec coach before—and asked whether they should be trialling others.
I said:
“You’ve said yourself I’ve named things you haven’t even said out loud. I’ve spotted what’s likely flooding you. And I don’t think you’ll find another exec coach who’ll do what I do, or go with you as I will.”
That’s not how I normally speak. But this week I did.
And something shifted.
This isn’t ego.
It’s earned boldness.
5. Something I’m Wrestling With
A couple of clients have held inquisitive sessions with me and found great value—only to discover their organisation has a preferred coaching supplier.
It’s tough to see and hear the disappointment in someone who genuinely wants to work with you, only to be met with policy.
In both cases, the clients are considering paying personally—a silver lining of truth and faith. It shows how much the work matters to them.
But it also reveals something bigger—how on (or off) it an organisation really is when it comes to developing its people. When leadership development becomes just another procurement task, something vital gets lost.
I’m thinking of writing about it—maybe a blog, maybe a provocation.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and assign them tasks, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Watch this space.
6. The World at the Edges
There’s a tension I’m noticing more clearly—between individual agency and organisational convenience.
Leaders are stepping forward with openness and hunger. But the system doesn’t always know what to do with that.
It wants transformation—but prefers it manageable, tidy.
Are we designing organisations to support real leadership—or just to contain it?
That’s the edge I’m watching.
7. Look at This
Bonchurch Beach on the Isle of Wight.
Taken on a walk this week.
The colour and the blend of nature and concrete remind me of the beautiful photography of my friend and website magician Andrew E Berlin.
No where near his caliber - you can check out his work here
It reminds me too of the ‘Currents’ post I put out earlier this week too which is my way of sharing the models and frameworks that shape how I coach—fortnightly, under the surface.
Real leadership isn’t built at the surface. It’s shaped underneath.
8. Word I’m Carrying
Underneath.
This week reminded me again: what matters most is usually not what’s visible.
It’s the commitments we don’t say. The truths we’re scared to name. The values we carry quietly.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
—Carl Jung
Coaching works when we go underneath.
That’s where the shift lives.
9. The Question That’s Asking Me
What am I no longer willing to shrink to fit?
This isn’t about ego.
It’s about clarity.
About refusing to fold yourself into systems or stories that dilute who you are.
That question is still echoing.
And I’m listening.
10. What I’m Grateful For
The love shown to me this week—by clients, friends, and family—has been quietly overwhelming.
On Monday, my dad was cremated.
He was a great one.
Gentle and yet powerful. Brilliant but humble. Open and still quietly reserved.
There’s something in that mix I carry. And this week, I’ve felt it more than ever.
And in the middle of it all—grief, coaching, logistics—my daughter reminded me that joy and realness can land in one line. I asked:
“Have you eaten your breakfast?”
She replied: “Yes, I’m just putting on the milk.”
A future in politics, clearly.
“The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.”
—Abbé Prévost
11. Where I’m Rooted
I am rooted in love and legacy.
In realness over polish.
In presence over posturing.
In the quiet strength of a father who shaped more than he ever said.
In the trust of those who let me walk beside them.
And in the kind of congruence that doesn’t shout—but holds.
12. What Am I Reading?
I’m reading people more than pages this week.
Clients. Friends. Family. All showing up honestly. And I’m listening.
The Plant-Based Cyclist is still open—reminding me that how I fuel myself matters. As an athlete. As a man. As a leader.
And I’ve been returning to my own Currents series—not from ego, but to check:
Am I still living what I write?
It’s an open question.
And that’s the point.
Wrap-Up
This week held space for grief and growth, action and alignment. I showed up in ways I haven’t before—and stayed with things I might once have stepped around.
The boldness wasn’t about volume. It was about truth.
And I’m grateful for all of it.
Over to you:
What are you no longer willing to shrink to fit?
And what might shift if you said that out loud?
And remember; a thriving planet is worth it and we all need you.
Stefan
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here