Age - Stefan’s Week-notes 31/05/2025
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Week of 24 – 31 May - Age
This week was quite the week. Seemingly gentle from the outside but on the inside it rippled. Past and present colliding like three oceans intersecting. The third ocean; me.
Here’s what I noticed, carried, and am continuing from.
1. What Went Well
A visit to London offered more than just a change of scenery—it gave me a sense of grounded momentum.
I spent part of the day working from the RSA café—introduced to me by one of my coachees a while back, and now one of my favourite thinking spaces. The building carries intention. You can feel it. I ran an open coaching slot there—no one took it up this time, though a few are on the list for next time.
Would you like a slot?
Later, I walked through the gardens at St Paul’s. The last time I stood there, eight years ago, I was unravelling.
This time, I stood differently—more integrated, more whole. It wasn’t dramatic. But it was meaningful.
A quiet return to a place that once held my brokenness—now met with steadiness.
2. What Lit Me Up
A conversation with a coachee who approached me for help preparing for a huge opportunity lit a fire in me this week.
They’re going for an incredible role—one that demands clarity, courage, and composure under pressure. The kind of role that could shape systems, not just steer strategy. And the interview process? One of the toughest, most rigorous panel formats out there.
They said it felt like getting ready for SAS selection. I felt that a little too.
My kind of assignment. Not just because of the challenge—but because of what it reveals:
The kind of leader they want to be.
The standards they’re holding.
The seriousness with which they’re showing up.
And then I relaxed into it, and so did they.
In the past two years, I’ve helped leaders do this:
‘1’ recently secured a place on an international Charity Board.
‘2’ moved from regional to Divisional Commercial Director in Banking
‘3’ progressed from programme lead to digital transformation director in the Public Sector
‘4’ moved from regional sales manager to MD in financial services.
‘5’ Secured Head of People role from Assistant Org Culture Lead in Public Sector
‘6’ progressed from Comms Director to Deputy Director General in Non - Profit
Coaching in moments like this doesn’t just support performance—it sharpens purpose.
Mine and theirs.
3. A Conversation I Can’t Stop Thinking About
A conversation with a charity CEO has been sitting with me all week—in the best way.
We’ve been working together for a while, and this week they gave the green light to expand the coaching programme: more leaders, deeper scope, wider reach.
It’s exactly what’s needed.
Not just more coaching—but more coherence.
More momentum across the leadership team.
More permission to surface what’s usually left unsaid.
There was no drama in the decision. Just quiet certainty.
A moment of shared belief in what’s possible.
I left the call thinking: thats the kind of leader I love working with.
4. Something That Shifted
Being back in London this week—face to face, in real rooms, in real time—stirred something familiar, but different.
I had the chance to step into a potential change consultation—something I used to do often, and well. But this time it felt… better. Less performative. More grounded.
Like I wasn’t returning to an old version of myself, but bringing my current self into old spaces.
Taking the Isle of Wight with me.
There’s something in that.
You can carry peace into the pace.
You don’t have to choose between past roles and present wisdom.
Sometimes what shifts isn’t who you are—but how you show up.
“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” – Lao Tzu
5. Something I’m Wrestling With
I didn’t ride my bike this week. Not once.
It wasn’t a conscious decision—just the drift of days, the pull of other commitments. But I noticed it. Felt it in my body, my mood, the way I carried myself.
Cycling isn’t just exercise—it’s rhythm, reflection, movement, release.
When it’s not there, something tightens.
I’m wrestling with how easily the essential can slip into optional.
And how quickly a week can pass without the things that give me back to myself.
It’s not guilt—it’s awareness.
And a quiet vow to re-centre next week.
6. The World at the Edges
What I’m noticing at the edges this week is a loss of momentum—around climate, sustainability, and the will to act.
It’s not that people don’t care.
It’s that the urgency is being muffled by fatigue.
The language is becoming stale. The commitment fragmented.
In conversations across sectors, it’s creeping in:
“We’ll circle back to that.”
“We’ve got more pressing priorities.”
“We’re not sure the messaging’s landing.”
But the planet doesn’t pause because our focus shifted.
The challenge didn’t shrink. We just turned away.
The edge I feel now is this:
How do we keep the work alive when the headlines move on?
How do we make sustainability not just necessary—but desirable again?
Not as a campaign.
As a way of living, leading, and being.
7. Look at This
My battered cycling shoes.
Scuffed. Sun-faded. The Velcro’s worn and the heel’s starting to give way.
But they’ve carried me over thousands of miles—through storm and sunlight, solo climbs and group breakaways, moments of grit and moments of grace.
They’re not pristine. They’re lived in.
And that’s exactly the point.
Looking at them this week reminded me:
Progress doesn’t always look polished.
Wear is a sign of movement.
Of commitment. Of return.
They’re not glamorous. But they’re honest.
And they’re still going.
8. Word I’m Carrying
Age.
It’s been sitting with me this week—not as something to resist, but something to recognise.
Shakespeare wrote in Sonnet 73:
"(Age is)…That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang."
I’m ageing. And with that comes wear, yes—but also wisdom.
Not the kind you shout about.
The kind that shapes how you listen.
How you lead.
How you know when to speak—and when to hold silence.
There’s a calm that comes with years of coaching, creating, rebuilding.
Not slower. Just steadier.
Age isn’t the loss of youth.
It’s the layering of meaning.
9. The Question That’s Asking Me
What’s my cause?
This week, the question’s been echoing more deeply—not because I’ve lost sight of it, but because I’m seeing more of it.
Helping good people lead great things isn’t just a phrase—it’s a pattern.
It shows up across the STEEPLE spectrum:
Social – Creating leadership that’s community-rooted, not ego-led.
Technological – Supporting people who are navigating complexity with ethics and edge.
Economic – Helping leaders align growth with values, not just scale.
Environmental – Coaching those bold enough to lead climate solutions from within.
Political – Backing those who hold integrity in policy, change, and public life.
Legal – Guiding those reshaping accountability, fairness, and justice.
Ethical – Standing beside leaders who ask not just “Can we?” but “Should we?”
It’s not one domain. It’s the thread through them all.
Helping good people lead great things isn’t just what I do.
It’s who I’m here for.
And right now—I’ve got availability.
Want to use it?
Drop me a note: HERE
10. What I’m Grateful For
I’m grateful for friends—The ones who lift me up and quietly fill the void.
It’s been seven months since I’ve been on my own. And in some ways, my dad’s passing has deepened that sense of aloneness.
But here’s the thing—I’m not alone.
I’ve been held in quiet ways:
Messages that land when I need them.
Invites that remind me I’m thought of.
Moments of laughter, warmth, care.
And I’m grateful, too, for my coachees.
The ones who meet me in this work with honesty, courage and care.
Who trust me to hold space.
And who—without knowing it—help me feel seen, useful, alive.
Friendship isn’t always loud.
Coaching isn’t always one-way.
But both, at their best, are deeply human.
11. Where I’m Rooted
I’m rooted on the island.
The Isle of Wight isn’t just where I live—it’s where I’ve come home to myself.
There’s something about the sea, the sky, the slower rhythm.
Even when I travel for work—even when I step back into the city—I carry the island with me.
It shapes how I lead, how I coach, how I listen.
It’s not isolation—it’s perspective.
And it reminds me, quietly:
Stillness can be strength.
12. What I’m Reading
It’s been a full week, but in the moments between I’ve been listening to Rich Roll’s conversation with Stuart McMillan—diving into the philosophy of speed, coaching, and what it takes to unlock performance.
It’s one of those episodes that lingers. Not just about sport, but about the art of being fully present to another human’s potential.
I’ve also been re-reading my new coaching profile—tuning the words that will soon shape my website and inform a set of case studies I’ll be sharing soon.
It’s a strange thing, reading about your own work.
But also powerful.
A reminder of what’s behind the method, the practice, the posture.
And the thread through both?
Good coaching isn’t just technical.
It’s deeply relational.
As the week folds in, I’m reminded that leadership—like coaching, like riding, like life—isn’t always about acceleration. Sometimes it’s about awareness. About pacing. About presence.
This week was full, yes—but also full of reminders: of connection, of cause, of quiet courage.
The kind that doesn’t announce itself, but shows up anyway.
In conversations. In commitment.
In cycling shoes and coaching notes.
In friendships that carry you when you’re not quite sure what you’re carrying.
Wrap-Up and Over to you
Thanks for reading. Here’s to next week—held with intention, moved by purpose.
Some weeks are about becoming. This one was about living.
About naming what’s been and who I am. About choosing me.
And about trusting that I am rising above it all; the past that is.
Here’s to future and ageing with grace and calm.
Over to you:
Who are you?
What lights you up?
What does that mean your need more of?
What does that mean you need less of?
What does that mean for tomorrow?
Remember; a thriving planet is worth it and we all need you.
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach who specialises in helping good people lead great things.
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it.
It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go. getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here