Threshold - Stefan’s Week-notes 14/09/2025
Inspired by the weeknotes of friends and coachees including John Fitzgerald, Steve Messer and Nour Sidawi - I thought I'd give it a go.
Weeknotes - Thresholds and Stewardship in Practice
I’ve kept the new frame from last week: 7 questions that invite a deeper look. And a new 1st question to start: What themes came up in coaching this week?
They’re not tidy prompts, but thresholds - places to pause, notice, and name what’s shifting
What themes came up in coaching this week?
A mix, but all circling the same core of stewardship.
Difficult conversations and performance - stewarding both with honesty and care.
Political contexts - how to remain purposeful in a less purposeful context, without burning out.
Strategy - how to move from where they are to where they can steward more effectively.
Communication and influence - finding the voice that carries impact and clarity.
Driving direction as CEO - stepping in with clarity and conviction when it’s right, and when it’s needed.
Different leaders, different settings - but the thread running through was clear: stewardship is as much about how we show up as what we decide
What did this week teach me about being human?
That I’ve missed the human connection of a team. Coaching itself gives me deep human connection - the kind that matters most - but it’s usually one-to-one, or in a contained group. What I’ve been reminded of this week is the different kind of energy that comes from being part of a team.
I step into teams momentarily - for a session, a workshop, a retreat - and in those moments I become “one of them.” But it isn’t quite the same as the ongoing rhythm of belonging. Reaching out to coaches for associate work and reconnection brought that home to me. It was fun, energising, and affirming - a reminder that while I thrive in the intimacy of coaching conversations, I also miss the camaraderie and spark that comes from standing alongside others in shared purpose.
Where did I show up fully as a steward?
In a conversation with a leader in Brussels. The message was simple but weighty: it’s time. Time to lean into the conversations that had been put off. Time to take the step into stewardship - not just for themselves, but for the people around them and for the organisation’s purpose.
It wasn’t a new realisation for me, more a reinforcement: stewardship is about honouring. Honouring the individual in front of me, the work they’ve already done, and the organisation they’re part of. Beginning not with criticism or gaps, but with the magic we do see in others - and why that’s worth naming, worth tending, worth stepping forward for.
What is trying to emerge through me right now?
My playing space.
In reality, I’ve coached pretty much anyone who has sat in front of me, on almost any topic. And I’ve been glad to - there’s always value in the conversation, always something to be unlocked.
But I’m becoming more aware of where and when I have the greatest impact. The patterns are surfacing, the words are starting to hold. It isn’t about narrowing, but about naming: this is the space I play best in, the space where my presence, my questions, my stewardship make the deepest difference.
It sounds like this:
“I believe the world needs more good people leading great things.
I work with senior leaders at inflection points - carrying what I call the weight of stewardship. My coaching helps them do three things: keep their integrity under pressure, sustain performance with wellbeing, and navigate complexity without losing themselves. At the heart of it, the purpose is simple: to help leaders strengthen not just their organisations, but the people and systems they touch - and ultimately to play their part in creating a thriving planet.
Alongside that, as the CEO of Be The Waves, I work with collaborators to create spaces for conversation, co-creation, and commitment — so leadership isn’t just developed, it’s shared and multiplied. A core part of that is elevating voices that don’t always get heard, whatever their intersectionality.”
What’s emerging through me, then, is clarity. A niche not as a limit, but as a home ground.
What did I pay attention to, and what did I miss?
I paid attention to what’s building - Be the Waves. The momentum, the conversations, the sense of something bigger than me starting to take shape. My focus was on holding it, tending it, helping it grow.
What I probably missed was pausing to savour it. To step back and notice what’s already here, not just what’s next. I often remind others to do that - to admit their humanness, to let themselves breathe — but I didn’t give myself quite the same permission.
I’m a coach, not perfect. And maybe naming that out loud is part of the practice too.
What’s the edge I stood on this week?
The edge, for me, is in the comments I’ve been picking up about being a white, middle-aged man. I get it - it’s true, and it carries weight. For some clients that may make me appropriate, for others it may not.
But the sharper edge is what sits behind it. Because while those labels are being named, I’m also watching much more troubling conduct go uncalled-out in the wider world. Behaviour and decisions that do real damage, and yet slip by without being challenged.
So the edge is holding both truths: being conscious of my own identity and what it carries, while not letting that awareness become a distraction from the need to name and confront conduct that corrodes trust, fairness, and the future we’re trying to build.
Who did I lift, and who lifted me?
I lifted a female DEI leader determined to make an impact. She was frustrated that the pace of change felt slow, the shifts less dramatic than she had hoped. What we named together was the impact she is having - even if it unfolds more slowly than she’d like. When you consider the challenge of the context, the resistance and the complexity, her persistence itself is impact. Helping her see that seemed to let some of the weight ease, and the determination remain.
As for me - I was lifted by those who engaged with Be the Waves. Each comment, each moment of encouragement, each person taking it seriously gave me back some of the energy I’ve poured into it. It reminded me that this isn’t just mine to carry
What actually happened - in the work and away from work?
In the work: I grafted. I showed up fully - in coaching sessions, in conversations, in holding the weight of stewardship with clients who needed it.
Away from work: I discovered, plotted, and planned. The next steps for my coaching practice, and for spreading the word of Be the Waves. And I rode the bike in a gale - or near-gale - leaning into the wind, reminded again that movement and resistance are both part of how I process.
Closing
Looking back, this week feels like one of reinforcement: remembering the joy of teams, reaffirming stewardship as honouring, recognising the niche that’s been forming in me for years. There were edges to stand on and winds to lean into, but also reminders to savour what’s here already.
Thresholds everywhere — and the quiet courage to step through them.
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For now; thank you
I am…
An executive coach and the CEO of Be The Waves, growing stewardship for a thriving planet.
I helping good people lead great things; in other words - I empower Stewardship
Good people care about others, our planet and beauty. Great things are changes for the betterment of society and all that lives within an around it. It sounds big and fun - it is.
I'm also an endurance racing cyclist and a go getter.
You can read more about me and what I do; how I work here