Coaching: Why 12 Monthly Sessions?
Coaching: Why 12 Monthly Sessions?
Last time, I shared the what and the why of my coaching.
What coaching is - and isn’t.
Why I coach.
Who I work best with.
And what this work can unlock when it’s done with depth and care.
This time, I want to move into the how - the structure I use, and why it works.
Because how we hold the space matters just as much as what happens in it.
Coaching can shift things fast.
Take this, for example - a recent coachee’s words; not after our first session, but the inquisitive session before it - laying the ground for a coaching programme:
“The inquisitive session with Stefan got into the meat of a lot of issues within the first 20 minutes of us working together. Some sort of liminal magic occurred where I was saying things out loud that I hadn’t previously known that I knew - about the situation and the ways in which I’ve been showing up, which were contrary to my own intention. I felt unstuck and saw some of my actions in a fresh light - but with compassion, not shame.”
That kind of clarity can be instant.
But big, complex, systemic change? The kind that anchors deeply and shows up long after the coaching ends?
That takes time.
Time to recognise, to unlearn, to experiment, to integrate.
Time to go deeper - as trust grows, as new layers emerge, as leadership matures.
Which is why I work in arcs.
Twelve sessions. Monthly.
With deliberate pauses to reflect, and a final crescendo that turns learning into legacy.
1. Coaching Needs Space and Momentum
Change doesn’t happen in a straight line. It loops. Spirals. Settles. Surprises.
That’s what developmental psychologists like Robert Kegan call adaptive work - the slow reshaping of how we see ourselves and the systems we’re in.
And it’s why monthly sessions create the right cadence:
Close enough to sustain momentum.
Spaced enough to let new thinking land.
It mirrors habit science too (James Clear, BJ Fogg): meaningful behaviour change tends to stabilise across 4–6 week cycles - not overnight.
Monthly coaching allows for action and reflection.
Which is where real growth sticks.
2. The Arc of 12 Mirrors | The Arc of Transformation
This isn’t just twelve disconnected conversations.
It’s a journey with shape, pace, and progression.
Here’s how the arc tends to unfold:
Sessions 1–2: Terrain and Vision
What’s the real terrain?
What are we holding, avoiding, aiming for?
We start wide - mapping context, challenges, relationships, identity, impact.
We define what matters and why - activating future-self thinking and intrinsic motivation.
Sessions 3–4: Clearing the Ground
What’s getting in the way - practically or emotionally?
Where are the patterns, blockers, leaks?
Here we name limiting assumptions, unhelpful dynamics, and unseen tensions.
Cognitive, behavioural, emotional - all of it’s on the table.
We start creating space.
Sessions 5–9: Working the Game Plan
Now we’re really moving.
Sharpening focus. Stress-testing strategy.
Aligning intention with action, identity with impact.
We often move between immediate challenges and long-range legacy here.
Between the what now and the what next.
We zoom in | We zoom out
At times we zoom out: What are we really trying to change here? What’s the deeper arc of your leadership, your system, your legacy?
At others, we go granular: What conversation needs to happen this week? Where’s the tension in your team? What belief is ready to be rewritten?
That dance - between the micro and the macro - is often where the breakthroughs happen.
3. Review Sessions Increase Ownership and Depth
Sessions 3, 6, and 9 serve as checkpoints.
We stop. Look back.
Ask four questions - every time; discovering what we each contribute and how we make it even better.
These aren’t just performance reviews.
They’re designed to build awareness, agency, and trust - rooted in mutual reflection and intentional pause.
4. Session 12: The Crescendo
This isn’t a soft ending.
It’s a powerful close designed to turn work into wisdom.
We ask:
If we were never to meet again - what conversation do we need to have to ensure this work deepens, not fades?
We look back:
What has shifted?
What still needs embedding?
What are you now responsible for — as leader, steward, human?
We ground this in future-self modelling, Gestalt endings theory, and practical clarity - so what’s been created doesn’t just end, it continues.
5. Integration Is the Point, Not Just Insight
This coaching arc is about embedding insight.
About growth that stays with you - in your habits, your presence, your decisions, your leadership.
It’s not therapy. It’s not mentoring. It’s not consultancy.
It’s developmental coaching - and it’s designed to support whole-person, whole-system change.
And the longer the journey - including second or third arcs - the deeper it often goes.
More honesty. More agency. More impact.
Because the foundations are there. And the co-created space gets braver.
Final Thought
Twelve monthly sessions.
Structured reviews.
A closing crescendo.
Space for vision, reflection, momentum, and closure.
This isn’t just a model.
It’s a rhythm - built for humans doing hard, meaningful things.
And for me, there’s joy in the journey - walking alongside someone as trust deepens, as support and challenge grow together, and as leadership gradually matures into stewardship.
You’re not here to tick a box.
You’re here to change something real.
Let’s build the rhythm to make that change stick. Let’s turn that leadership of yours into stewardship.
SP.
Coming Next: Why 90 Minutes?
Next time, I’ll share the science behind session timing:
Why monthly works, why 90 minutes is ideal - and how that structure supports deep reflection, neuroplasticity, decision-making, and behavioural integration.
Because the calendar is the coaching container.
And we should treat it with the same care as the questions we ask.
For now, thank you for reading and remember - stewardship is greater than leadership.
Executive Coach | CEO, Be the Waves | Father & Citizen
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